Is it hot in here or is it just me?

With my Associates Degree in hand, I have ventured out into the world of job hunting. It's a frightening experience that feeds on patience and frustration. I exited my educational realm with enthusiasm and a smile on my face eager for my first kill.

Hunting is a sport I have a somewhat knowledgeable grasp on. My husband is a seasonal hunter. If it's a season, then he is hunting! Job searching is not that different from hunting.

You gather up your supplies and watch a million shows on bagging "THE BIG ONE" to educate yourself. This is a lot like the process of going to school and getting your degree. (I would have to say that hunting "the big one" is cheaper!) The next step is to put together a resume and send it to every single classified ad in the paper, on the internet, and posted on any bulletin board that you see. I believe in casting a big net :) This process is a lot like a hunter baiting his prey. You buy a lot of corn feeders and scents like doe pee to attract your game. Deer really do love this stuff or at least that's what my husband says right after he says "here...smell this." Then, you sit back and wait for the phone calls to come rolling in.

Months down the road, when you have just about given up, you finally get that phone call. "Mrs. Provance, we have reviewed you resume and we would like for you to come in for an interview." Oh the rapturous joy you feel at that very moment. You call everyone you know and tell them about it. Then the reality sets in and the adrenaline wears off leaving you in shock and panic! "They want me to what?" That's right...they want to talk to me and ask me questions and stare at me intensely. That is when your brain kicks in to remind you to breathe because you're about to pass out!

So, two agonizing and panic filled weeks go by and it's D-day! The big interview has arrived! You wake up tired because you couldn't sleep. Your stomach is all in knots, and all you want to do is crawl under the covers and go back to bed. You have done your research but you still do not feel like you are ready for what lies ahead. My husband is like this on the day of a hunt. The only difference is that he wakes up at 2:30 in the morning to go hunting. His stomach is knots because he won't eat before he leaves so he won't have to go to the bathroom. He has done his research on which stand to hunt out of, which takes him as long as it takes for me to pick out my outfit. This whole day is like waiting in the tree stand for a monster buck to shoot. You finally see him and you take the shot. Did you miss it or did you hit the "kill zone?"

With the kids and the hubby finally out of the house, you rush into the bathroom to get ready. It's finally time to leave and of course you're already a few minutes behind schedule. The weight of what is about to take place takes over your every thought.

So here is how my interview today went...

I arrived at the location of my interview without passing out or "tossing my cookies." That was a big accomplishment on my part. If you remember a statement from one of my earlier blogs, my motto is "panic first and think later!" I was thankfully still ten minutes early despite leaving my house later than I wanted to. I was given a sheet of paper that described the job I was applying for. I was reading it over and over again (just in case there was a pop quiz) when I heard my name being called. The lady that was escorting me seemed very friendly. She did not at all fit my image of the grim reaper who should be escorting me into hell!

Now last night I was re-reading for the millionth time, my letter detailing the interview location and time, when two words jumped off of the page and smacked me in the face..."interview committee." Holy crap...there's more than one of them?!?!?! Yep...I walked into a conference room with five people staring at me. I began to sweat "like a whore in church with the preacher talking about fornication!" (thanks for the saying Dana) I had two choices. I could either sit down in the chair that was waiting for me, or I could turn around and run screaming down the hallway like the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz! I chose to put on my "big girl panties" and deal with it!

I will admit that it was quite intimidating to have all of these people staring at me, but I somehow managed to sit down and brace myself. The first few minutes they described to me what I would be doing on a daily basis in this position. Then they decided to play let's go around the table and ask the pale, sweaty girl a lot of questions. Each one took turns asking me questions and wrote on a sheet of paper what I was saying. I think I did well during the Q&A. Then they dropped the bomb on me.

They were going to do a little role playing with me. I had to answer the phone and talk to someone who was disgruntled and politely let them know that the person they wished to speak with was on another line. I didn't think my face could get any more pale than it already was. I handled the "phone call" as best I could. It was very difficult to know what to say. I am not a person that handles conflict well, so I try to avoid it at all costs. I tried to be as polite as possible while maintaining control of the situation. When the lady that made the call returned to the room, one of the gentlemen stated that I had gotten lucky because she usually cries during role play. OMG...I sure dodged that one! It is quite difficult to handle a conflict when you do not know much about the situation, you aren't that familiar with your job requirements, and oh yeah, you have 4 people staring at you while you do it!

For the last part of the interview, I had to type up a letter and print it out. I almost panicked when she said type because I haven't typed on a regular basis for some time and I knew my speed would not be up to par. I also have fake nails on that make it very difficult to feel the keys. I had heard I might have to be tested on my typing but I didn't think it would be at that very moment. I figured I would have enough time to have the nails removed and practice with the kids Spongebob Squarepants typing software before I would be tested. Luckily, I was informed that I would not be timed. How many bullets must I dodge in one hour? I typed up the letter using an example in the file and then stared at the printer trying to figure out which direction to put the letterhead in. Deep down I knew that secretly they had counted the paper laying on the desk to figure out how many times it would take me to get it right. My angel that is always looking out for me helped me to get it right the first time! I even had the words lined up below the logo. SCORE! I walked the paper up to the receptionist and proudly turned it in. I said thank you and ran out the front door as quickly as possible!

All in all, they were very nice people and we did share a few laughs. They understood about me being nervous and even cracked a few jokes to loosen me up a bit.

So basically...I survived! I did however have to go home and wring out my bra, but I did it. One interview down and no telling how many more to go. I don't know when I will hear from this position, but I am glad to have the interview out of the way. Hopefully someday soon I too will get "THE BIG ONE." (my first kill)

I told you that job searching was a lot like hunting.

I will remember you...

Today is one of those days where you constantly think about what you were doing this time one year ago. One year ago today, I lost my sister in a car wreck. One year ago today, I had to grow up a little bit more. One year ago today I had to tell the most important people in my life that Missy would not be with us (physically) any more. One year ago today, my best friend, advisor, confidante, wife to Jeff, mother of two, friend to all who knew her, hard worker, live life to the fullest girl left us behind.

A lot has happened since then. We have all grieved, walked down memory lane, smiled, and yes...even laughed! I have learned a lot since then. When things seem to be at their worst, the people who surround you are your true friends. Don't look back at yesterday because it takes away from today. Hug the kids and snuggle with them just a little bit longer. They grow so fast! Make each moment with your spouse count! Be silly sometimes! Laugh until you can't stand it (or wet yourself-and if you've had kids you will)! Do something out of character! Cry when your heart aches from either joy or sadness.

I guess what I am saying is the old cliche of live each day like it was your last. I knew a beautiful lady who did this. She left this world with few regrets. She is also putting a boot in our a#% to make sure we do the same thing!

I plan on living this way. Can you do the same?

I love you Missy!!!

I'll Be Here

I cannot ease your aching heart,
Nor take your pain away;
But let me stay and take your hand
And walk with you today.

I'll listen when you need to talk,
I'll wipe away your tears;
I'll share your worries when they come,
I'll help you face your fears.

I'm here and I will stand by you,
On each hill you have to climb;
So take my hand, let's face the world...
And live just one day at a time.

You're not alone, for I'm still here,
I'll go that extra mile;
And when your grief is easier,
I'll help you learn to smile!

- Author Unknown